Broken
by BigRed502
Summary: how long till this goes away?


**Broken**

**Summary: Vaughn has trouble not being with her.**

**Song: "How Long" By Hinder****  
**

"So, I'll see you when I get back." Sydney tells me, leaving our meeting place. I want to tell her how I feel, but I just can't bring myself to. It's against the rules and I know it. I just can't seem to get over her.

"Wait!" I call, jogging to catch up to her. This is it: the moment of truth. It's now or never. She turns around and I hesitate. "Good luck." I chicken out.

"Thanks." She smiles that amazing smile and I can't help but ache.

_Why'd you go and break what's already broken?  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking,  
How long till this goes away?_

Sydney Anne Bristow is quite the girl. She's smart, pretty, mysterious, generous, and I love her. I didn't figure this out until I nearly lost her and have yet to tell her.

She went on a mission to Taipei and almost never came home. The three days we didn't hear from her nearly drove me insane. When she walked in that door to the Rotunda I nearly kissed her. I'm not sure if she knew how scared I was. I'm not sure if she knows how I feel about her.

I'm not sure I could ever tell her.

There are only two problems with our relationship. One: She can't be seen with me or SD-6 will kill us both. Two: She has a boyfriend.

_I try to remember to forget you,  
But I break down every time I do.  
It's left me less than zero,  
Beat down and bruised.  
I can't see him with you._

His name is Daniel Hecht and I absolutely hate him.

I don't actually know him further than his name, but he has Sydney and that's all that matters. I might just be jealous, but I can't help it. Sydney deserves the best, someone who will love her forever. Someone will love her for who she is, not what she looks like. I think that I'm that person.

"Why are you with him?" My question breaks the silence of our meet.

"You called me here to ask me that?" She replies, confusion marring her features. I don't know what prompted me to be so bold, but now that it's out there I want to know. It's been nagging me ever since we met.

"No, I just wanna know." I shrug it off, pretending not to care when my heart is beating so loud I swear she hears it too.

"Danny lets me be normal." Sydney answers, looking me directly in the eye. "With him I don't have to be a super spy and save the world. All I want is to be normal."

Her answer breaks my heart because I know that can never happen to us. We go over her next mission but I can't keep my mind off her words.

_Why'd you go and break what's already broken?  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking,  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him.  
How long till this goes away?_

The next morning I'm out for a walk when I suddenly see Sydney in the park. She sits on a bench alone and I wonder what she's up to. I want to go over and say hello, even though I shouldn't. We've been in the same places so many times before I'm convinced that it wouldn't matter if I pretended to stretch my legs next to her and coincidentally had a short conversation with her. We haven't been caught yet, so what's the harm?

I change my course and run across the grass towards the bench, acting normal. She hasn't seen me yet and I want it to be a surprise.

I stop in my tracks when he walks up to the bench. He sits down next to her and they kiss. It feels like she just ripped out my heart and trampled all over it. I tear my eyes away in repulsion. This is too much to bear to see them together. It hurts even worse that she looks happy with him.

_I can't seem to get my heart over you,  
Cause you creep into everything I do.  
And now I'm dying to know,  
How he touches you.  
I can't see him with you.  
_

"So how's Danny?" I ask after a meeting. I could care less, but I don't want her to know that. I pretend to care about what she says even when every good word makes me regret asking.

"He's great. We just got engaged." She says happily, holding out her ring for me to see. I feel like I'm choking on my words but I manage to get a congratulations out. I know now that she loves him and it kills me to know. I want her to love me. I want her to be with me.

"I'll see you later." I say hurriedly, trying to get away before I say something I might regret, something along the lines of admitting my love for her.

_I can tell you're lying when your lips move,  
Cause of one lie: it's not me it's you.  
It's left me less than zero,  
Beat down and bruised,  
I can't see him with you._

Months pass and I don't even notice. All I think about is Sydney and her impending marriage to him. I have come to the point that even his name will set me off. Weiss has noticed it too, and tries to encourage me one way or the other.

"Either tell her how you feel or get over it and move on." He says harshly.

"But she's engaged." I defend my weakness. "And I don't even know if she likes me."

"Are you kidding? Have you seen the way she looks at you?" He gapes, shocked that I hadn't noticed. I guess I have been too obsessed with hiding my own feelings to notice.

"I don't know what to do."

"Just kiss her." Weiss tells me and I set it all into motion.

_Why'd you go and break what's already broken?  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking,  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him.  
How long till this goes away?_

"Hey." Sydney says shyly when she enters the warehouse. I can tell she's confused as to why I called her in when she doesn't have a SD-6 mission to go on. I smile weakly at her as she joins me by the table. "What's going on?"

"I just needed to tell you something." I say, not looking at her face. I'm not sure if I can go through with this.

"Yeah?" She asks innocently, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in the way that I have fallen in love with. I take a tentative step towards her, holding my breath.

"I love you." I tell her softly, bringing my lips to hers in a kiss. It's just as I imagined it, only a million times better. I know I've never kissed anyone this way. I never want to kiss anyone but Sydney for the rest of my life.

We break apart and she looks at me shocked. She brings a finger to her mouth as if still feeling the kiss lingering on her lips.

"What?"

"I said I love you." I repeat, feeling more confident the more I say it aloud. She looks scared and confused and I wait eagerly for her response.

"I can't…" She steps away, putting an invisible barrier in between us.

"Why not?" I ask helplessly, needing to know why we won't work out. I love her more than life, how can she not see it?

"I'm pregnant."

_Why'd you go and break what's already broken?  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking,  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him.  
How long till this goes away?  
How long till this goes away?_


End file.
